The Worst

1 Timothy 1:15 “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners–of whom I am the worst.”

There is a psychoanalytic theory that Sigmund Freud developed called ‘Defence Mechanism”. It is is an unconscious psychological mechanism that reduces anxiety arising from unacceptable or potentially harmful stimuli. Among the purposes of ego defence mechanisms is to protect the mind/self/ego from anxiety or social sanctions or to provide a refuge from a situation with which one cannot currently cope.

Through processes such as repression, identification, or rationalization the individual learns to manipulate, deny, or distort reality.

World of Despair

There has been an upsurge in depression, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies in society. Our ER’s are full of ‘psych’ patients, people who are suffering from some form of mental disorder or other means of trying to correlate their reality with a worldly approach. Alcoholism is continuing to proliferate in homes where quarantining in an anxiety filled environment drove people into other ways of coping. The resulting attempts at trying to understand how to stay balanced or as Freud put it, remain in ‘equilibrium’, are exercises that became futile over time.

The pathways to acceptance are only distortions of reality by which people either shelve their problems for another day or drive the negative impulse so far into their psyche that they then suffer from the secondary effects of never resolving the original conflict.

Sinful Ego

The greek translation for 1 Timothy 1:15 reads like this: “Trustworthy the saying and of full acceptance worthy, that Christ Jesus came into the world sinners to save, of whom(the) foremost am I (ego).”

The Apostle Paul could have wrestled with an immense amount of guilt. Having previously been a Pharisee, his former radical agenda was to eliminate christianity from the face of the earth. He once believed that christianity was an affront to God and that Jesus was an imposter. He couldn’t fully understand the measure of Jesus’ fulfillment of the messianic prophecies nor could he see beyond his own idealism. The only way for Paul or at the time Saul, had to deal with this problem was to arrest or kill the followers of ‘The Way‘.

What was it that radically transformed Paul’s reality?

Encountering Christ

The road to Damascus was a moment that changed Saul from an opponent to a radical proponent for Christ. In Acts 9, Jesus appeared in the form of a brilliant light and asked Saul why he was persecuting Him? Jesus made sure Saul understood that by persecuting believers in Christ, He was persecuting the risen Messiah.

Jesus identifies with His people.

When we suffer, He feels it. When we rejoice, He rejoices with us. Jesus is intimately acquainted with all our ways. He knows our fears, He knows what troubles us, and He has the solution to all our woes.

Isaiah 43:5-7 “Fear not, for I am with you;
I will bring your descendants from the east,
And gather you from the west;
I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’
And to the south, ‘Do not keep them back!’
Bring My sons from afar,
And My daughters from the ends of the earth—
Everyone who is called by My name,
Whom I have created for My glory;
I have formed him, yes, I have made him.”

The methods that Freud employed for understanding and dealing with life’s pressures are humanistic methods people try and use for coping with life. These methods elevate man into a position that God alone should bear. When we try to deal with life by attempting to form doctrine or conclusions that attempt to bring clarity to a dilemma apart from God, we are simply not accepting the fact that life is more than what this world proclaims.

New Life

If the first response to anxiety is an attempt at processing meaning to a dilemma apart from Christ, the attempt to reconcile a lack of control to a method that is unstable and lacks support will be fruitless.

James 1:6-8 “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”

The reality that every person on earth knows but might not acknowledge is that life is very unstable. The moment we think everything is going great, life throws us another curve ball and destabilizes our perceived reality. If we react to these changes by trying to stabilize our situation through our own reasoning or strength, we will find that we grow more desparant with each unsuccessful attempt.

Isaiah 45:5 -7 “I am the Lord, and there is no other;
There is no God besides Me.
I will gird you, though you have not known Me,
That they may know from the rising of the sun to its setting
That there is none besides Me.
I am the Lord, and there is no other;
I form the light and create darkness,
I make peace and create calamity;
I, the Lord, do all these things.’”

The answer to the dilemma of life is found in Christ alone. He is the stable guiding light for which the world looks earnestly but never finds. The world can’t find Him because they look within themselves or into nature, hoping to find meaning and purpose through the creation rather than the Creator.

Great Upheaval

There are times when the unsettling events that occur in our lives are actually inflicted by God Himself.

There are moments when we battle against God’s leading and the sin of rebellion leads us into trouble. The harder we fight to keep control, the more we seem to lose it. Our ego might even take over and the perception that we can intellectually manipulate our way through trouble becomes a reality check to show us we aren’t in control as much as we thought we were.

When the moments of reality finally settle in that we can’t control everything, we have a choice then to either look elsewhere for help or strive to cope with weakness by finding something to bury ourselves in—substance abuse is a common recourse for hopelessness.

What was meant to bring peace brings upheaval.

Perfect Balance

Paul shows in 1 Timothy that he has reached a reasonable conclusion in his life regarding his past, present, and even his future.

“I am the worst“, is the conclusive statement regarding his flesh. He knows if he were left to his own vices, he would become one of the most heartless, unloving characters to roam the earth. If Paul were in the church today, many would probably try to build him up. Responses such as “Oh, your not as bad as you say you are”, or “Look up, you have many good qualities” are common words of encouragement spoken by those who don’t want to see anyone think less of themselves.

Thinking less of ourselves isn’t always a bad thing.

Keeping a right perspective regarding life is vital in dealing with the variability that comes with this world.

Isaiah 45:11 “This is what the LORD says— the Holy One of Israel and your Creator: “Do you question what I do for my children? Do you give me orders about the work of my hands?”

There is a point where we must get to when the conclusions of life are not satisfied by intellect or reasoning, neither by substance or human strength…we must draw our conclusions based off what we know regarding an Infinite God who gives power to His people.

We cannot understand all His ways nor should we. If we can’t get to a point of trust, knowing that He is faithful, we will live in a state of anxiety and fear for the rest of our lives.

The Lord is leading, our responsibility is to follow….this is the only conclusion that makes sense and when we entrust our lives to Him, knowing that we are nothing before Him, we gain a perspective that brings assurance.