Is it I?

Matthew 26:22 And they were very sorrowful and began to say to him one after another, “Is it I, Lord?”

The time had come, the table was set, the disciples had gathered around Jesus and a moment that had been planned from the beginning of time was about to be completed.

As Jesus broke the bread and poured out the wine, those who had followed Him were about to be confronted with a somber reality. Someone in their midst was about to betray the Lord of all glory, someone close to Him, someone they thought they could trust.

There was so much Jesus had taught His disciples, and yet there was so much they still didn’t understand. Peter was under the illusion that he was impervious to falling. Jesus warned him that in a few short hours he would not only deny the Christ but do it three times before it was completed.

The disciples thought they had come so far, and yet it was only just the beginning. The Master stepped away from the table and began to wash their feet, like Jesus had done so many times before, the Rabbi, the Teacher, their Lord had done something unexpected. What was it about that moment that has echoed forth through time and history?

Jesus the Messiah was about to give His life as a ransom for many and for those who were His and one who was not, one last lesson was given.

John 13:21 “After saying these things, Jesus was troubled in his spirit, and testified, “Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.”

The Lord strong and mighty demonstrated His deity right then and there. His knowledge of men was undoubtedly given by the Father. What must it have been like for God in His omniscience to be constrained in the form of a man? He could feel pain, He could sense temptation, He could hurt, and feel the brevity of life. The Creator of the world was just like us, He walked along the dirt roads many had traveled, He taught in the buildings and synagogues made by man, and He subjected Himself to ridicule and shame. The Lord, the One in whom the patriarchs and prophets had foretold, the One who wrestled with Jacob, who talked with Moses on the mountain, the One who made a covenant with Abraham, the One who walked in the garden with Adam…the LORD is His name.

One would betray Him!

The declaration must have sent a shockwaves through the room. Recoiling in awe, the disciples each began to examine their own lives and hearts and ask the question…Is it I Lord? Am I the one who would betray you?

But the responses of each reflected their worship. The title of Lord was not by accident. Jesus who had once been a rabbi to them had now become their Lord and God….except one. Judas had the same question, as if he was oblivious to the crime he had already set in motion. His question exposed his heart for all to hear…Is it I rabbi?

For the other eleven, Jesus was their point of worship, they had dedicated their lives to Him and yet still lacked the power to follow Him to His death. But for the one, Judas was still in doubt. Jesus was still the rabbi he had first come to know. What was it about Jesus that he still doubted? Why wasn’t Jesus enough? He had witnessed the lame walking, the blind gaining their sight, he had seen the chronically ill healed with only a touch, and watched the dead raised to life. Through all the teaching and lessons, Judas was still not convinced.

What does the lesson of Judas teach us today?

For some people, no matter how much evidence they have, no matter how many lives are transformed before them, no matter how many times God reveals His love to them and calls them by name…it is never enough. For Judas, he would have heard the Father speak from Heaven and declare Jesus’ glory, he would have heard of the transfiguration and stood in awe as thousands were fed.

What would it have taken for Judas to believe?

The answer seems obvious…there was nothing God could do that would be sufficient for an eternal skeptic.

The conclusion for such a man is the somber reminder of what awaits.

Matthew 26:24 “The Son of Man goes as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been better for that man if he had not been born.”

To not have been born would have spared Judas an eternity of suffering in Hell. Jesus pronounced Judas’ judgment before the gavel had yet fallen. His spirit had not yet departed his body, but Judas was a walking dead man. And yet, in the moment of Jesus’ final lesson, the compassion of God showed evident. Jesus quietly dipped the bread into the wine followed by His betrayer…and then Judas proclaimed his own judgement.

Matthew 26:23 “He answered, “He who has dipped his hand in the dish with me will betray me.”

It was quiet, it was subtle, but it was clear. The question of Judas was followed by Jesus’ reply…“You have said so”

The disciples relief was soon followed by another proclamation that brought sorrow…

Matthew 26:31 “Then Jesus said to them, “You will all fall away because of me this night. For it is written, ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’ 

How many times has God’s people fallen away, only to be restored once again? What great sorrow must the Lord endure with a people that can’t stay with Him even for a night? How many times have I been found guilty of the same failures? What grief have I caused the Lord through my weakness and inability to remain?

Through it all, the ones who worship in spirit and in truth…the Lord restores them into fellowship with God. How great and merciful is our Lord, who redeemed us from the grave, who called us by name, and who endures with us through our failings.

There are still those who darken the church halls who have never really believed. They think of God as only a rabbi or good teacher, the potlucks are the highlight of their week, and the comradare of the church is like a club of nice people singing songs…but they just cannot and will not give their lives to God in worship.

Is it I? Do I call you Lord or do I just watch and wonder, never partaking of the Spirit of God?

May we all examine our hearts and come humbly before the Throne of grace before it’s too late. Once there is no longer breath in our lungs, the reality of an eternity with or apart from God is made.

There will be no turning back.